Phew! What a stinker

What constitutes a winning headline these days is becoming decidedly dodgy. The finalists announced by Press Gazette today range from the half-decent to the, frankly, pedestrian.

The Sun’s treatment of US general Stanley McChrystal sacking was okayish (Mac the knifed) but the Guardian’s Rene Descartes note found on the internet (Descartes letter exists, therefore it is found by web surfer) was the sort of thing my second year students would come up with.

Only the NoW and Sunday Mirror's “Hand of clod” reaction to goalie Rob Green’s World Cup blunder got anywhere close to what I’d call a decent head.

At least we didn’t have to put up with the likes of The Mirror’s Saturday offering on Simon Cowell visiting Cheryly Cole in hospital (Bed Si manner) or the Sun’s absurdity on cuts in the Civil List (Her Much-less-ty).

Anyway, the good news was that the judges got it right when choosing the Star's story on Declan Donnelly growing back his thinning head of hair. The headline: It's all strands on deck.

Take a bow night editor Nick Bailey. I knew him when he was a cub sub in the provinces - and he was dreaming them up like this 25 years ago.