Is this what we call a Cole-fest?

Is there anything we don’t know about Cheryl Cole? Never mind the X-Factor, anyone who avidly read the red tops last Sunday could adopt her as their Mastermind subject:

Cheryl: My malaria crusade (Mirror)
Its war. With Nadine (News of the World)
I feel guilty that Ash is hated (People)

All on page one. The Mirror even splashed on theirs. Piss-poor on a slow week but there you go.

At least the tab-mags got closer to a real story by turning their attention to her new man.

Its too soon. Why cheryl turned down Derek’s proposal (Reveal)
Cheryl smothered by insecure Derek (Closer)

At least the Star tried to put us out of our misery:

Cheryl and Derek; what's really going on (Star)

And some of us wondered what we'd do in the silly season when Diana died...